Comedy

Congratulations [on surviving the 2003 Blackout]! You’re made of stronger stuff than ice cream.

You wouldn’t understand my shouting braille when there’s a blender in the oven?

This isn’t a business. I’ve always thought of it more as a source of cheap labor. Like a family.

This world is like a burnt steak—small, tough, and the chips are always stacked against you.

I heard that Commentary and Dissent merged and formed Dysentery.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.